


Realities.

by evashougouki



Series: Ship Studies [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Character Study, Developing Relationship, F/F, Relationship Study, love takes time and love takes work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 03:03:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5147900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evashougouki/pseuds/evashougouki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They laughed together, cried together, whispered things they hadn’t the heart to say any louder, and a warm feeling washed over Sapphire, one she couldn’t at the time put a name to but now recognized as love. </p>
<p>Sapphire and Ruby discover a new feeling.</p>
<p>(Part two of a series of relationship studies.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Realities.

****

Sapphire had a tendency to split her life into the neat little categories of BR and AR- that was, Before Ruby and After Ruby. Before Ruby, she lived solely within the warm confines of her own head, taking solace in her knowledge of and security in the future. Staying distant and predicting; analyzing, was safer than by recklessly living in the moment and practically asking to be hurt. She didn’t have much (or anything, really) in the way of friends, but that didn’t bother her all too greatly. The story constantly playing out in her mind and emotional security were her companions and, at the time, she wouldn’t have had it any other way.

After Ruby- her insane, beautiful Ruby-she learned to see the beauty of living her life in the moment- though, old habits died hard. When she had first met Ruby, all those years ago, she had absolutely shut down when she found an explosion of possible futures that burst their way into sight when she glimpsed Ruby’s scowling face. Never before or since had meeting one person (or hell, even any one big event) caused so many different, wild possibilities for her future. It was overwhelming, and terrified her, not being able to know for sure for the first time in her life.

What’s more, nothing Ruby did ever really followed the most probable path of future. Even with all her foresight, she could never truly guess what Ruby would ldo in any given situation. She was the definition of following one’s heart; a hurricane or a tornado or something just as wild and captivating, and logic for the most part had no bearing on her choices. Sapphire had never had the courage to act in such a way before. It shook her whole worldview, forcing her to peek out of the recesses of her mind into the painful brightness offered by the present.

They hadn’t liked each other at first, not at all. Too much of a clash in- well, everything, and their little quirks hadn’t yet become adored, as they were now. Looking back now, curled up together in Garnet’s mind, they could laugh about it, but back on Homeworld it had been no joke.(Nothing on Homeworld had really been a joke, but that was besides the point.)

Sapphire had wanted desperately to avoid the dangerous unpredictability that was Ruby. She was afraid of what a future with her in it could possibly hold, as she was so stuck in her ways and solitude, while Ruby thought that she was, quote, “a snobby little ice queen.”- which she wouldn't admit until recently, and with much dramatic embarrassment. However, in training, they had been paired off because of their short stature, and forced to room together. It was… awkward, to say the least. Sapphire was by then seeing exactly what her future with Ruby entailed, and it terrified her. She hadn’t ever heard of any gems being so close before, and couldn’t imagine leaving herself that vulnerable to another person- even if the little glimpses she saw were… warm? Happy? The unknownness of it all was daunting, so she mostly stayed quiet and thought on it, weighing carefully the pros and cons. Ruby interpreted it as her hating her, and would get frustrated sometimes, angry others.

“Why are you always so cold to me? What did I do?” she growled out one day from the bunk below Sapphire.

It interrupted a vision of the two of them dancing, laughing, melding into each other, and-? It became hazy from there. “I don’t know what you mean,” she replied, voice perfectly measured and even, a feat of which she was extremely proud.

She heard angry huffing and something thunk against the bottom of her bed. “Bullshit!” Ruby cried out, voice steadily rising in both volume and pitch, “No one is like this! No one is this emotionless, this… robotic! You’re your own damn gem, and I know for sure you have your own damn thoughts. We’ve lived in the same room for cycles and I know absolutely nothing about you. How insane is that?! I want to know, Sapphire. Can you give me a chance?”

Sapphire considered for a second, biting her lip. That was unexpected. Why would Ruby care about her, of all people? Why would she have this outburst now, of all times? She had no idea what to do.

“There’s nothing to know.” she said, sounding weak even to herself.

The thick silence was only cut by the slamming of a door.

\----------

Ruby's wicked instinct and belligerent fated her to join the army as a soldier, while Sapphire's cool head and foresight led her down the path of an informant and spy.

However, they both had to learn basic hand-to-hand combat, and with the tension and stifled emotions brought on by the early days of their rooming assignments, it was a welcome task. They sparred often, and hard, the searing heat of Ruby’s boxing glove sizzling against the biting cold of Sapphire’s brass knuckles. Ruby was incredibly strong, and her recklessness rendered Sapphire’s future vision useless, but Sapphire was still calculated, analyzing every one of Ruby’s blows and carefully planning her own. Their spars ended more in draws than anything, and over time their enmity morphed to begrudging respect to friendship.

They spent more and more time together, and Sapphire started to enjoy Ruby’s spontaneity as a break from the stresses the rest of the world brought. Talking with her, or even just being in her presence brightened her day, drew her away from the thoughts looping over and over in her head, and she found herself happier than she’d probably ever been. She had never before thought of herself as willing to or capable of drawing a laugh out of anyone, but god, did Ruby’s raucous giggles make her want to ditch all logic and become her personal comedian or something equally ridiculous.

The bunk beds in their quarters were, of course, mostly for show, but Sapphire found herself sitting in the lower bed with Ruby, talking about anything and everything. She didn't need as much time to hyperanalyze everything now, as she would just talk it out with Ruby. It was more fun this way, and she got a better chance at figuring out the puzzle called Ruby. Besides, she liked to think that hearing some reason did Ruby some good- or calmed her down, at least.

They sat together one day, Ruby passionately chatting away and braiding Sapphire's hair- a habit she had formed to calm herself down. She was going on about a mile a minute about some spar she'd lost somehow, about the cheating that was surely going on, about how no one was as good a match as Sapphire was.... She wasn't entirely paying attention, but she didn't have to be- just venting would calm Ruby most days.

The voice stopped suddenly, and Sapphire turned to see a slightly too wide-eyed, slightly too open-mouthed Ruby. "Is everything alright?" she asked, a strange, cold feeling looping throughout her chest. It was strange to see Ruby stopped for anything, especially so suddenly. Sapphire watched, concerned, as she shook her head quickly, cheeks an even heartier red than normal.

"It's nothing," she said quickly, returning to braiding, but her voice was higher pitched than normal; Sapphire awaited the 'but' patiently.

The braiding slipped into just playing with her hair, and Ruby finally spoke.

"Did you know that you make me feel the weirdest things?"

Sapphire stayed silent, but a weird feeling of her own settled into her stomach.

"I get the weirdest... urges? Needs? I don't know-! Fuck! What am I saying!" Her red deepened even further and she tugged her headband down in a sorry attempt to hide her eyes. But Sapphire knew what she was saying. She smiled- she could make sense of her now, and knew exactly what she wanted. She was a little proud- and besides, who in the name of Diamond could resist her right now.

So, she did what she'd seen in her  visions- what scared her and confused her so much- and turned around, brushing her own bangs off of her eye and pulling her headband up to its home among her wild curls. Ruby gaped, and Sapphire leaned in with a confidence she didn't know she had and pressed her lips against Ruby's.

She wasn't entirely sure why she did it, but did it ever feel like the right choice. Ruby's lips were chapped and slowly got hotter and hotter and fumbled around her own, but it was perfect- perfectly Ruby. Something in her felt more whole now, despite her whole body feeling so warm and fuzzy  that she may have just melted on the spot.

She was happy to find an astonished grin on Ruby's face when she finally pulled away. "Wow..." She muttered, voice warm and syrupy. "Whatever that was, I didn't know you had it in you, Sapph!" She exclaimed, voice devolving into giddy laughter that Sapphire couldn't help but imitate. She watched, amazed, as the laughter within her  seemed to seek some kind kind of other outlet, and Ruby sprang up and wrapped her arms firmly around her, picking her up and spinning her around excitedly. She would have been embarrassed any other time, but she was so caught up in the joy of finding someone to share her world with that she just laughed and eagerly accepted Ruby's lips fumbling in laughter up against her own.

\----------

A voice in the back of Sapphire's mind reminded her how she had done what she said she never would and lowered her walls for Ruby; grew attached and emotional. Logically, she knew it wasn’t the smartest option but she was starting to care less and less with each passing day. Maybe logic and planning weren’t always the best course of action, she thought, rather blasphemously, to herself. Maybe she could just enjoy her time with Ruby as it came.

But their attempts at living like that secretly or even at all were ended dramatically with the coming of the Rebellion. They’d fought then, feeding off of each other’s anger in the worst way and magnifying it tenfold. The more Ruby screamed and threw things around, the more Sapphire closed herself off, and the more Sapphire drew up her walls, the more frustrated Ruby became. She could feel all the progress they’d made crumbling down on top of her, crushing her.  It ended with Ruby storming off to the far away planet Earth to fight alongside Pink Diamond. Sapphire saw the trip as sure death and stayed behind with Yellow Diamond’s troops. But it hurt, so much more than she would have anticipated. There was a sudden, aching emptiness in her chest that wouldn’t ever leave her. It made her body heavy, her limbs and mind dragged down, and dear Diamond, did her quarters ever feel empty. Fresh pain struck her anew every time she entered the room. They assigned her a new roommate, but she ignored her, becoming ever more quiet and isolated than before.

She broke on a routine intel mission one day, after cycles upon cycles of the all-consuming loneliness. She waited in a corner she found to be the most satisfactorily safe, crouching and withdrawing into the future, carefully and methodically selecting and surveying each path to find which would reward them the most. Then, suddenly, a small path from the fuzzier edges of her vision brightened and widened. Curious, she guided her vision over the path, and shocked, stumbled back and firmly into the present. She glanced around frantically for an escape, but the voice was already approaching her.

 Who in the newly named Rose Quartz’s army should she of course see, but her beloved Ruby? Thank Diamond she was alone, Sapphire thought quickly, watching Ruby’s eyes fall upon her, widen, and fill with angry tears. She stood up as dignified as she could from the bush she had been crouching in, wiping stray leaves from her uniform.

“Ruby.” she said, voice wavering despite her attempts to control it.

Ruby stared for a never-ending second, face shifting between what seemed to be an infinite number of contradicting expressions.

“Sapphire.” she responded, voice just as choked.

She couldn’t stand it anymore, this crushing loneliness, this life without her singular and best friend. She had told herself that she had lived without her before and could do it again, but she realized now that she couldn’t go back. Ruby was well and ingrained in her heart, and she was coming to recognize that.

Before she knew what was happening, they were both in each other's arms. Tears burned behind her eye, and Ruby was openly sobbing. “You’re… awfully stupid for someone so smart,” she choked out quietly, and Sapphire couldn’t help but smile.

Rose Quartz turned out to be very welcoming of her new troop, agreeing to hide her desertion from Yellow Diamond’s army in return for use of her future vision. Sapphire agreed without even thinking. She was even allowed to room with Ruby again, much to both of their delight.

She distinctly remembers that first night, laying in a dark tent with Ruby, fingers clasped with hers, legs twined together, laughing about their stupidity. They both blamed it on themselves, of course, and decided that neither was to blame. They laughed together, cried together, whispered things they hadn’t the heart to say any louder, and a warm feeling washed over Sapphire, one she couldn’t at the time put a name to but now recognized as love. It had crept up on her, slowly but surely, and dragged her, unprotesting, into its depths, Leaving her confused but content- a combination she never thought that she of all people would ever experience.

****  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I originally intended for these studies to be about one thousand words each- whoops. I just kept wanting to add more or more, and was forced to stop myself. (And I'm considering a fusion-centric chapter from Ruby's POV, but that would sort of defeat the purpose of this whole thing...)  
> Anyways, thank you all for reading- I hope you enjoyed reading is as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> Feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome!


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